youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
