Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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