her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
