im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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