I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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