We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
