I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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