best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
