She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
