I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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