So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
