I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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