I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
You can't motorboat a personality
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
