if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize