Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
