do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
