I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
