i can't believe i had my finger in that
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
