My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
