Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
