For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
