carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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