I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
