She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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