Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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