All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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