i think my mom watched the whole time
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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