can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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