it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
