i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Is it penis luge time yet?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
