there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
