He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
