So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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