i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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