i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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