Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
