She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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