Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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