"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
