Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Randomize
