please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
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