Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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