I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
