He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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