I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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