wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
