Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
