at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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