he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
