took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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