Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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