You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
