Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
