Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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