I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
