I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize