Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
