Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
