Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
