Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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