that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I just googled if crying burns calories
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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