brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Nicole vs. Life
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize