So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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