Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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