just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
