my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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