I just saw a hot homeless man
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
