last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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