whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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