Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
