Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize