I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
